July.

I am surprised how many cute pictures I have from this month considering everything that happened with my back but I guess we made up for lost time!

Canada Day was my test run being out away from the house. We went to Jordan and Kim's for dinner, had a fire and watched the fireworks from their backyard. I was on a lot of pain meds and was told by my friends that I wasn't acting like myself at all.

A week later my cousin Candace (who I hadn't seen in 5 years) and her boyfriend and family came to Canada to visit. If it was anybody I else I would of stayed home but all my family went to Fish Creek Park and I really wanted to be there.

The next day we went to Calaway Park. They promised me that I would have so much help I wouldn't have to do anything all day. It was Grant's first time and he LOVED it!

^^ The only ride I could go on haha

^^ Little Deuce Scoop sounds gross, but it's not, I promise.

We spent a lot of time at my Grandparent's Pool. Grant would spend hours in the water and my Grandma loved spending time with the boys. Most of the time it was just us 3 but lots of times my sisters, mom or other friends and family would come swim with us.

^^ One morning Dad got to come swim with us!

^^ Grant is making that face because he saw an ant haha

^^ I don't know where his swim trunks went but whatever

^^ He calls my Grandma "GG"...They love each other.

Asher enjoyed the water too but the porch swing snuggles were his favorite.

I love going to the pool, there are so many memories there from my childhood and I love that my kids get to experience summer days at my Grandparents.

 

^^A typical morning at the zoo

^^Probably 4 days a week we would go downtown and try out different food trucks. There were so many good ones I couldn't pick a favorite.

Sundays are my favorite!

When we didn't feel like going anywhere, sometimes we would just hang out in the yard at home where all the neighbors kids would play hockey. Grant developed a pretty sick slap shot this summer.

Speaking of hockey, I wasn't the only one who dealt with injuries this month! Grant got hit in the face with a hockey stick and had to get 4 stitches through his left eyebrow. He really hated being held down but he loved the endless supply of popsicles the nurses bribed him with. A couple of days later, Grant was playing on a trampoline with my friends kids and he started crying. I got him off and he kept falling over. At first I was really worried that he had a concussion from getting hit but then I realized he fell everytime he tried to put pressure on his foot. I felt so bad for him and because I felt like such a horrible mother, I made Garth take him in, it turned out he had sprained his knee. Kids and trampolines do not mix people!!! He had to back for a third time that month to get his stitches out and by then Urgent Care was old news to him. Everytime you show up they always put something on your finger to check your pulse. Grant had his finger ready for the lady before she had even brought it out. She just laughed and said "You've been here before havn't you??" *facepalm*

Asher went through a lot of new milestones this month! He is sitting up in the shopping cart and he also started eating solid foods. He is a really good eater who will eat just about anything (Except for green beans!)

^^ Trying to get him to nap at church

My friend Kim is a photographer and she takes pictures for a clothing company called Sparrow Apparel. I have done pictures for them before but this time was so much fun because I got to make a lot of new friends! These girls were so much fun!

July 17th was my 25th birthday! It was a crazy busy day of wedding rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and getting our nails done for the wedding. The rehearsal dinner (at Halo) was super fun and the food was amazing! (The wedding was even more amazing but I think that deserves a post of it's own.)

Because I was gone all day on my birthday, Garth gave me my present the night before. I told him I just wanted clothes etc. for my birthday. He thought that was so boring to just give me money or gift cards so he decided to make a game out of it. First I played 3 "Price is Right" type games, each game I won gave me 2 gift cards (I ended up winning 2/3 so 4 gift cards). After that was done, I had to play bottle cap shuffle to determine the amounts on each of the four gift cards. He wrote amounts on the back of the cards and then flipped them over and numbered them 1-6 (#1 being the highest amount and #6 being the lowest). He then taped them to the floor and I had to shuffle my bottle caps onto the amounts I wanted (aka 1, 2, 3 & 4). And that is exactly what I did! You can tell in the picture below how I felt about that but you can't see Garth's! He did not expect me to do that well haha. The best part of the night was flipping over the amounts and seeing how much I won. I started freaking out when I flipped over #4 (my lowest amount) and it said $100! Let's just say I won a serious shopping spree this year! After that we played another game of bottle cap shuffle to determine which stores the 4 gift cards would be. It was so much fun! He always makes everything fun and memorable and I love him for that.

^^ Grant enjoying Jessica/Grandpa/Amanda's joint birthday cake at Sunday dinner.

 ^^ Grandpa doing the same.

We spent another day at Calaway Park and it was just that much more fun for Grant because Colin, Cynthia and Charlie joined us. he loved having someone his age to go on all the rides with.

Despite all the stress I put him through, Garth had a successful month on the doors and I am so very proud of him.

-A.

My Summer Trial

On June 29 my back gave out on me. When we arrived at church that Sunday I felt a little "tweak" in my back as I was lifting Grant out of his carseat. Once we got into the chapel, I bent down to pick up a toy Asher had dropped and...I couldn't get up. Luckily I somehow managed to get into the hallway and when Garth came to find me he knew something was wrong and we had to leave. He went and pulled the car around for me but when he came to help me to the car I couldn't put any pressure on my legs without searing pain flowing through my body. Luckily Jordan was there to help but even with two guys to lift me, I couldn't move I was in so much pain. We were told that the Bishop of the other ward was a chiropractor (looking back... that was a miracle), so Jordan went to get him and he took me into a room to try and work on me. After trying different things he told me that I was in way too much pain for him to do anything to me, and if he tried I would probably go into shock. It then took about 45 minutes to move from that classroom, outside to Jordan's truck. It then took another 20 minutes to get into the truck as they lifted me into the truck while I cried and screamed and begged them not to. I have never felt that much searing intense pain in my whole life.

When we got home, Garth carried me inside and the next 24 hours was absolute hell. I couldn't move and no drugs could ease the pain. After taking 2 hours to try and walk 3 feet to and from the bathroom we decided to head to Urgent Care. After a really long wait, they took me in and gave me some morphine and for the first time I let my back relax. The pain was there, but the morphine finally gave me a chance to unclench all those muscles that I had been tightly squeezing to fight the pain. I slowly made my way back to the car, to the pharmacy (throwing up in the parking lot from all the drugs), and back home. 

The next two weeks were spent mostly in bed. It was the hardest two weeks of my life at the same time it was Garth's busiest month of the summer. I had two kids that I had to take care of but I couldn't. I laid on Kim's couch a lot, my mom came to Airdrie to help out, and Garth had to take too many days off work. After that first week, I didn't have any help and I knew Garth had to work, so I forced myself to deal with it. By that point I could walk around by myself, but lifting anything was excruciating. When I needed to carry Asher I would hold him, sit on the ground and drag myself to and from my destinations. I cried a lot, 90% because of the pain and 10% because I felt overwhelmed and stressed out. I knew that my pain was greatly affecting Garth and his ability to focus on his job and that stressed me out even more. I had to call my best friend and tell her that not only could I possibly not be able to sing at her wedding in 2 weeks but I might not be able to be in her wedding party at all, the wedding that we had been waiting for and planning for a year and a half. That phone call devastated me.

It was around that point where the impressions hit me so hard, and I felt silly for not thinking about it before. I knew that I needed a priesthood blessing, so I asked Garth if he would give me one. I don't remember one word from the blessing but I remember the feelings of hope and peace wash over me as I felt for once that things were going to be okay, that I was going to be okay. It was an amazing experience that I will never forget.

I got well enough that I was able to start going to the chiropractor to get my back adjusted. As he continued to figure out what was wrong and what I needed, it continued to get better, very slowly, but better nonetheless. He told me to start strengthening my core/back which was seriously weakened after carrying around 2 big babies over the past 2/12 years.

I was able to not only stand by my best friend and she got married, I was able to be there with her the whole day and perform at her wedding reception. Something I never would have thought possible 2 weeks prior.

I have felt very anxious the whole time I was writing this, because it brought back a lot of those feelings and emotions that were running through me so rapidly. But I guess the whole reason I wanted to write this down was because I learned a valuable lesson. I felt completely overwhelmed, alone and hopeless. I had no idea how I was going to get through each day. I realized very quickly that I wasn't alone, I prayed to my Heavenly Father and he made me feel better. Through the atonement of Jesus Christ and by the power of the priesthood he healed me. It wasn't sudden and fast, but as the days got better, I recognized his hand in my life and I knew that he was taking care of me. I truly believe that trials change a person for the better. I have a greater appreciation for my body, for the day to day tasks I am able to perform everyday, like picking up my kids, running or even driving. I am grateful for the chance to be a mom, even when it is hard. I am grateful for my health and now I am way more conscious about it. Because of this trial, I now go to the gym every morning to become stronger and better. I never want to be put in that kind of position again, where I can't take care of myself and my family.

I am so grateful for my Heavenly  Father, I know he is mindful of me and loves me more than I could possibly imagine. I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. who has felt all that I have felt and more than I could even fathom. Beacuse of what he has done for me (for everyone), I am never alone. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for all that he taught me through this experience and I am very grateful that it is over haha!

-A.